Can I Fix It?
Can I Fix It?
Before I was born my father had worked as a long-haul truck driver on the U.S. east coast. After I came along, he took a position that kept him closer to home. My father and I had a great relationship. He was my go-to person for everything. I loved him with all my heart.
As I approached my 16th birthday, the idea of driving began to surface as all my friends turned 16 before I did (I have a December birthday). Since my mother never drove, it never occurred to me that anyone else would teach me to drive except my father. With a December birthday came several months of inclement weather in the mid-Atlantic area so my driving lessons had to wait until the Spring after I turned 16.
I, of course, felt I was ready to drive! I could hardly wait. The day came for the first driving lesson and my dad drove us to the high school parking lot for me to learn. Throughout the next several weeks, I got lessons on driving, backing up, car maintenance, changing a tire, putting gas in the car, etc. Never, however, on parking! I lived in a big city and my dad decided that he loved me so much that he would not teach me to parallel park. So he hired a driving school to teach me how to park.
One of the greatest lessons he taught me, however, came from his years of truck driving on the open road. Whenever we saw a car on the side of the road with emergency lights nearby, I would slow down and gawk! You may have never done that but lots of people I know and don’t know do!! At these times, he’d say to me, “If you can’t fix it or you can’t solve it, don’t stop!” Today, I only slow down for these situations if those around me do. I learned that if I can’t fix it or solve it. there is no need for me to gawk!
I’ve also learned that statement – “If you can’t fit it or you can’t solve it, don’t stop!” – applies to many of life’s situations, not just driving. When my son was young, his father and I divorced. My son desperately wanted a relationship with his dad, but it wasn’t to be. I learned that it takes two to want a relationship and to make it happen. I couldn’t fix it or solve it, so I prayed for them, but I didn’t try to “fix” it.
Are you a fixer of people or situations? Do you have a response for every challenge others are faced with? If you are, consider the following:
1. God doesn’t need my help.
Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him and who have been called according to his purpose.” God has a plan and a purpose for those things that come into our life and He is working them out not me! I can pray for you, but I can’t fix your problem. If I intervene and try to “fix” your situation, I could be interrupting the work of God. It’s so easy to do that as parents and especially as parents of adult children.
In 1 Corinthians 3, Paul reminds the Corinthian believers that Paul planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow (vs. 5-6). It was Paul and Apollos’ work to plant and water, but God was responsible for the results. It is true in our lives as well. We may speak a word into someone’s life, but growth (change) comes from the Lord. I can’t fix it.
2. When the time is right, growth will happen.
It takes a long time for some of us to recognize the change we or others need to make. The path to right living is at best an up and down journey. I may do well this week but next week or month that might change. I’ve learned the value of growth in my own life and that of those I love and care for and I want everyone to experience it. However, it is always at God’s timing and it’s always the right time for everyone. I can’t fix it, but I can make it more difficult by inserting myself into what God is doing.
Here are some verses that have helped me in my journey:
Ecclesiastes 3:1 – There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.
Romans 5:6 – You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.
Galatians 6:9 – Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time, we will reap a harvest if you do not give up.
The Galatians 6:9 verse is an encouragement to continue in our own growth and development even though it’s a long and, sometimes, difficult path. It’s also a reminder that doing good for and with others is a long journey as well.
Remember, even if I can’t fix it or solve it, I need to press on in doing good for myself and others, with the Holy Spirit as my guide and prayer as my resource.
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