10 Ways Leadership Can Grow Your Marriage

10 Ways Leadership Can Grow Your Marriage

Your marriage is important to everyone – not just you and your spouse. We forget sometimes that our marriage can be a leadership ministry as much as any other role in a secular organization, nonprofit or in the church world.

marriage can be a leadership ministry

It hurts others when our leadership is less than it could be – but it also hurts those around us when our marriage isn’t growing. Fortunately, growing in our leadership can also grow our marriage relationship. And vice-versa.

As the Jesus-honoring, marriage-minded author Gary Thomas says, “What if God designed marriage to make us holy, even more than to make us happy?” Could God be using our marriages to reveal Himself to all of us, including those we lead?

Perhaps the change needed to lead well, and to be well married is more closely aligned than any of us would comfortably acknowledge.  Both require relinquishing something.

“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” Ephesians 4:22-24:

Jesus is our catalyst to change. And living out of this new self, leading like Jesus, we can transform the way we interact with those in our care, in our friendships, where we work, and especially with our spouse.

Jesus is our catalyst to change

Where does this growth begin and how does it also show up in our marriage?

  1. Putting God first. (Matthew 22:37) It starts in our heart! By demonstrating that God is first, our spouse and those we lead can feel secure. God knows all things – we know we don’t.
  2. Prioritizing everything else so we honor God in all we say and do. By putting God first, and seeking His favor, our desires can be under control. What a blessing for our spouse and those who need us to lead well.
  3. Employing prayer and solitude. (Mark 1:35) Investing time in solitude and prayer impacts both marriage and leadership – and it can be the hardest practice to employ the more difficult and full life becomes. Only God knows if we’re truly showing up to talk with Him. However, when we do, it shines in every aspect of our life. When was the last time you prayed for your spouse?
  4. Guarding our heart and mind with God’s peace. (Philippians 4:7) We don’t need the world’s peace – we need the Peace that comes from God to guard our hearts and mind. What a gift it is to be around someone who is filled with God’s peace. It’s true in leadership and marriage.
  5. Loving without prerequisites or conditions. (1Corinthians 13:4-7) Being a student of love in all its forms - patience, kindness, humility, respectfulness, selflessness, honesty, forgiveness and commitment – is something our spouse and those we lead will treasure.
  6. Edifying and encouraging. (1Thessalonians 5:11) Everyone – absolutely everyone needs to be built up. Leading like Jesus through encouragement makes our marriage relationship – and every relationship - grow.
  7. Leveraging our God-given gifts. (1Corinthians 12) If we’re leading like Jesus we know we can’t be everything to everyone, but rather we have the confidence to be who God made us to be – both for our spouse and others we lead. We know whose we are – and who we are.
  8. Learning humility. Knowing that how we behave will have a positive or negative impact on someone else, is humbling. (Philippians 2:3)
  9. Practicing obedience. (1 Samuel 15:22) Obedience isn’t a popular word in this time and age. And yet, being obedient to God’s laws is honorable in every part of life – marriage and leadership.
  10. Growing in the Fruit of the Spirit – (Galatians 5:22) What could it be like in our marriage and leadership if we grew our love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control?

Perhaps our leadership needs to begin in our marriage...

Recently, we’ve been working through a program with couples who plan to get married. These couples are mature. They hold responsible positions in life. Now they’re going into a new life – together.

Everything will be new. Lots will be fun and even more things in their marriage will challenge them. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if they were surrounded by other married couples who would be leading by their good examples?

Could we be the good examples for other couples? What needs to grow in our marriages and leadership?

Which of the 10 ways will you choose to grow in this week – to bless your spouse, and to develop in your leadership role?

Read more like this:

Explore a Better Understanding of Your Spouse (Blog)

Destined or Doomed: The Heart of the Marriage Matter (Blog)

How to Prioritize Marriage in the Busy Seasons of Life (Podcast)


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Robert and Lori Ferguson

Robert & Lori Ferguson are best friends who have been married for 30-plus years. Their mission is to encourage husbands and wives to lead meaningful lives. Read more at EncourageYourSpouse.com.

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